So, currently I feel that I've sort of completely lost my mind. What's funny is that I can still rationalize everything. I know why I've made certain terrible decisions. I know what lead me to them. I just don't know how to NOT make them. I feel that I'm weak willed. I am the most lost as I have ever been in my life. And all I want to do is tell people about it. Or find some way to fill the hole. I can't decide what more to say.